Sorry to hear about your lactose problem

I couldn’t help but hearing over the noise of this crowded restaurant what a problem you’ve been having with lactose. I just want you to know how sorry I am, especially since – as you just mentioned –  you enjoyed ice cream so much as a child. The nice looking people at your table seem very sympathetic, like me. I’m sure they appreciate, like I do, that you’re able to relate these tough facts of life with a gentle sense of humor and amusement, while we eat. Though I’m not with you and your friends over there, I’m getting to know you anyway; the way, for instance (and I love that you can say it with a smile), yogurt and milk make your sphincter convulse. Your friends are nodding now and I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I’m sure they’re praising your bravery under such adverse medical circumstances, and doing all they can to learn from your experiences.